May.

May 1st

Realised I had left my tablet tin at Age UK when I sorted out my bag last week. I rang them first thing and told reception to look out for it.  I had a very irate call from one of the  managers there. She seems to think it was my fault I had left it there in the so called staff room. Any way I am to have a meeting with her on Friday before my shift. I told her I am only a volunteer not a paid worker. We have only had lockers for the last three weeks so I think my tablets are safer with me than in a shared locker that is not always locked after people have bean in it..

Pictures from the 29th of April when I did the car park over grown bit.

 Big pile of rubbish I made.

 All tidy now.

 Summer watching through the fence.

2nd

Rain pouring down so the common walk was a bit later, cold as well. Summer did not mind one bit. The common that was just about dry in most places, is now wet with big puddles all over. With the horses running around, the paths have bean churned up again. I have bean told the West Common horses are going back home very soon. Our horses should go with them then our common would have chance to dry out too. After all around thirty odd horses came here, so I think its only fair they should go for a holiday too. Not my decision, up to the owners and the council.

No Pilate's today I just feel so drained.. I hurt everywhere, spasms some extremely painful. Temperature changes are all over the place waking up wet through with sweat, then shaking with cold, less sleep than normal (what ever that is) I feel very down as well, big cold sore come up on my lip feels like a marble very painful. My hands are loosing grip and hurt when just touched. But as many of you know its no use resting too much, as it makes things worse, for me any way. I think I could have accepted this RSD more if I had bean involved in a bad accident or such like. All I did was trip while running--- that's RSD,  cruel or what . Most RSD  have started with a minor fall or operation. Having no specialist does not help either. Only seeing my Neurologist when SEIZURES are on going. You are pretty much on your own. well I am. My Doctor does his best and is a big help to me. He really does not know too much about RSD though.

4th

My friend Miriam is not well she has a bad chest infection and is really struggling. I spoke to her on the phone and she sounded quite bad. She is pleased to be home though after spending a few months in a care home and hospital when she had a fall last December. At great cost too she said, she did not like it there at all. The home she was in was only a few hundred yards from her own house, so that did not help at all, she could all most see it from the lounge. 

Well Age UK  two people interviewed me or that's how it started out.I think I was treated more like a criminal than a person as one of them got very mad and started shouting at me. I said many times why are you so angry after all its me that has lost a tin and a few tablets. (2 GABAPENTIN, 4 ish IBRUES, 4 DIHYDCODEINE and some MINTEC (and maybe a MORPHINE one.) I carry one in case I forget to take them in the morning as I go into withdrawal. She said I don't think you realise how serious this is. Anyone could have taken them. I said well you have a thief then! If we had a proper staff room this would not have happened, as it would have bean locked up until Monday and still bean where I left them or handed in, not taken by a thief. She did not like it one bit, I told her why I need the tablets and the quicker I get them taken the easier is to control the pain. After all the big locker I mentioned earlier was not safe to leave them so I carry them with me. Once, no twice Nills had to break in when the padlock got stuck. Up to now there has never bean a problem. I do my work very well and the other staff say I put in a good shift and are a big help to any one. My work was in question as the side affects of the tablets I take can do strange things to the taker. (She read about the side affects on the web.) I said I have bean on the same ones for years and the affects are not a problem only if  I take extra, extra like when when I am ill of course, but  then I would not be at Age UK. I think she was making more of the incident than was necessary.
After another meeting with them both after my shifft I asked if Jenny could come in but  NO with quite a nasty air to it. She said why are you making it more difficult and worse for yourself????  I am not on trail here I thought. I had to sign at a risk document and not use the coffee machine this I was pleased about that as I have never liked it.  If I did not sign I was out the door. I said I thought you needed volunteers!!!!.

This is not the first time she has bean sharp with Jenny and I. After a while this hit me and I got quite upset. Gary had a few words with me. Jenny was very angry as she was there when I left the tin of tablets last week, and could not believe at what had bean said to me.
I could have walked out, but that would be letting a lot of people down so I will be going back but she has not heard the last from me.

6th

Phone call from Wayne, he is on his way here and staying till Monday. The computer has bean playing up so he will have a go at it with  Andrew. Both are good with with computers. They think there was a Windows 10 up date, that has got stuck in a loop and can not finish the task. 
Will be good to see him. The weather is meant to be very warm/hot this weekend.

7th

Well what a hot day, the hottest so far this year.  Lindsay is here with Jay-Jay and Jamie-Lee, Tommy-Lee is out with a friend swimming. We spent most of the day in the garden very hot, I got suntanned on my shoulders and face. Lindsay and I used to have a competition to see you could get the brownest. She goes mid brown and I go dark brown. There are lots of days when I can not sit in the sun as I get very itchy and sore.

Jamie-Lee spent most of the time in a paddling pool and using her bubble gun machine (makes soap bubbles) this is very good and makes lots of small bubbles which floated off in to the sky. Must be nice to do that, just float off.
A good day after the problems on Friday I have another meeting on Friday 18th.

Wayne worked very hard on the computer but did not solve all the problems.With Andrew being here all the time now, he now gets asked to help Paul and I solve the things that crop up from time to time that come with the web and other things you get going on a computer. so I say a big thank you to you both. Wayne had to leave to go back to Halifax or he might have finished the job. Does seems to work faster and not crashing as much.

9th

Pilate's today, first time in four weeks. I struggled quite a bit but I did it most, my way as usual. Nice to be back and good to be back on my bike again. Quite windy but a warmish day. Very tired later and the pain and spasms were not kind to me. My skin feels very sore and hot to the point of not being able to settle and try to relax. Not sure what its all about, could it be the sun I had on Monday but still it would not be full body would it.?. Maybe my body's in shock with all this sun stuff ! Any way joking apart its not nice

10th

Not good news Miriam has passed away. She was found by her carer in her chair collapsed. She went to hospital but did not make it.

11th

Age UK again lets hope it going to be nothing like last week. Gary said he was proud of me and gave me a hug. He said its a big step to return to a place after last week episode. The other two asked me how I was. Not everyone knew what went on last week. Jenny was very supportive even going to see the Volunteer's Coordinator earlier in the week. This I did not know till a lot later as we got busy and Jenny did not have time to talk with me.

Any way today's another day. Had a good talk with Poly that helped me. (Polly is the chef/cook)  We were not busy for a while, then like a bus load came. We managed to help every one. One man asked for a ham and tomato sandwich, when I asked him on what? he said a plate-- he was being very serious too. I meant brown or white bread. He laughed and said he felt stupid.
A good day with no problems. Not going on the Espresso machine seemed funny, but my wrist did not hurt as much.

The lady that interviewed me came through kitchen twice,  but did not say anything to me or Jenny.

12th

Angela came round and we talked about Miriam, we both got upset. She had only bean home two weeks. That's all she wanted, to go home and be herself, something she could not be at the care home she said. Angela and I will go to the funeral.

I have bean making a few toys not really for any one, mostly just to do them.

  There was another one but it went to a little baby in the end.

The little doll and cradle are for Emmie 's Birthday in a few weeks time.

14th 

Awoke very groggy and a bad head, NO, not bean drinking but I think its how I would have felt if I had.I will try to keep going and see if I can shake it off.

My friend John came round and we had a good talk. I had made some cakes and he smelt them and was pleased. He ate two and took two home. Even more pleased now. They were very tasty too. I do not have many cake as they upset my IBS but these were worth it and I did not suffer too much. 

Not a bad day but very tired, well more than tired, exhausted. Lack of sleep and pain plus everything playing up does not make a very settled mind and body.

15th

Well Summer must be here as I have put on the thinner bed quilts. 

Angela popped by and updated me on Merriam's funeral arrangements. No date yet but we now know who will be doing the service.

Lindsay phoned up and asked if I would have Jamie-Lee for a few hours after School, while Tommy-Lee and her go into town  Jay-Jay also called in earlier, he left his Mum and Dad in town. He had bean to the Hospital for an ear appointment. For a long time he has had trouble with his ears and lack of hearing. They told him he has reduced hearing in both ears and glue ear in one. Nice to see him, not bean here for a while.

Lindsay, Tommy-Lee and Jamie-Lee, arrived stopped a while then Lindsay and Tommy-Lee headed off into town. 

Jamie-Lee and I played with the Barbie dolls and then did some colouring. 

A few hours later Lindsay and Tommy-Lee returned they managed to get what they needed.He has a Football Presentation on Saturday so wanted to get jeans and some other things.to look his best.

Lindsay was not too good I think she had over done it with going to the Hospital and town, plus town again with Tommy-Lee.and I think she had done too much, after a rest they all went home.

16th

Still not feeling too good but I am going to Pilate's at least it will get me out the house. A cold windy day the wind was very gusty going too.

The session was quite a good one with a full house today. I did what I could, but felt very week and extremely tired. Had a word with Jo (Pilate's teacher) and she said I think, its your CHRONIC FATIGUE playing up, I agreed with her. Still very windy/cold coming home. Maybe I should not have put the Summer quilts on.

That's May's first half, not the best start to spring/Summer for me. Hopefully things will improve when the sun gets stronger and we have some continued hot days. Hope things are as good as they can be with you all love Gill.

Picture of Summer and her very best friend Suey, .Lindsay's dog