GOING FOWARD IN REVERSE

October 1st

Today I had my last monthly B12 injection now I can now go a whole three months between them and this one did not hurt too much. I have a lot of pain thought out my body today and bad spasms. I have taken far too many extra tablets, but still the pain does not seem to want to go.

2nd

Physio Wietse massaged my shoulders and neck he had to keep stopping because of the pain. Usual needles. After the session had finished I had to lay down for a while as I felt dizzy and light headed with the pain. After a rest I was able to leave. The bus journey was very bumpy causing yet more pain. On arriving home I had a lay down, but did not feel much better. Bed about 4am just as I was dossing off to sleep a house alarm went off, it kept stopping and starting the rest of the night I got less sleep than normal.

5th

The pain has lessened a bit but still far too much. I feel very drained my hip is bad, so is my foot sending a shooting pain from my toes up my leg every time I put it to the floor. Also my ear is playing up high pitched squeal and pain, dizzy on standing. Just about had it with all this pain but what can I do?

9th

Physio again Wietse said my neck and shoulders were very tight he massaged them it was very painful yet again. He reminded me about the breathing try to breathe the pain away I said it was not easy to do sometimes, he said I know, but try to keep smiling.

10th

Today is the running clubs annual race, The Ducks and Drakes, ten mile off road. I went by bus as Paul had gone earlier to help with the car parking. I realised after a while I was stood in the wrong place to catch it and had to walk quite a distance to get the right bus stop. Once there I had a few words with a few running mates then I went on the banks to watch. Later I gave out the memento bags for finishing the race. This lasted till after dinner then I went to a meeting about herbalism and reflexology. It was a very interesting talk which was recommended to me by my Pilates instructor. I bought some sleepy time tea, well you never know. Later on I was in a lot of extra pain I think I had done too much and as usual paid the price. Lucky I got a lift home and rested for the rest of the day.

12th

Early hours of the morning I took my sock off and my foot and leg were wet through with sweat even though my foot and leg were ice cold this is the first time this has happened.
Doctors appointment he has increased my morphine(OXYCONTIN) to double what it was (20mg to 40mg a day) we both think this is for the best as I am taking too far too many extra tablets and will have bad side affects from them as well. I was disappointed as I did not want to go higher but I think it makes sense for now. My CLONADINE all so has bean stopped to see if I can cope with out it as temps swings are improving.

13th

Pilates I had a lot of trouble trying to cope with the exercises I could not get my body to do what I wanted it to do. A lot of pain and creaking of my joints - not a good class tonight.
The relaxation did not go well either it made me feel very down, a lot of the others actually go to sleep I have never got anywhere close to doing that.

15th

A lot of hot red skin, I feel so itchy, its the extra morphine I think. Pain is bad it went down but is now back to its full evil. Hope the extra morphine will help.


16th


Physio I talked to Wietse and Michelle about how I felt he thinks the weather has a lot to do with the pain I am experiencing now. He said try to stay positive I said it was hard to do a few tears and a lot of talking, I felt a bit better. They are both a big help as I have no one really I can talk too. Usual needles and massage.

17th

Went to a birthday party a hog roast and Céilí (Irish social dance) it was very good and funny to watch the dancing I wish I could have joined in a bit but it was too fast. The vibrations from the speakers and tiredness caused a lot of very bad pain and sensitive body I cried out in pain when anyone touched me. I lasted the evening out at a cost I was in agony now getting full body spasms, the ride home was a killer. Very painful night.

20th

On the whole, pain is down to a more manageable level, not as much as I hoped when I started taking the extra morphine. But one I can just about cope with, still a lot of pain in wrists. I am dropping a lot of things, they just slide though my fingers. Had a small bump, fell towards the door leading in to kitchen, grazing my face same side as before (MAY accident fall) so very sore bit swollen.

22nd

Physio again Wietse put needles in ears,neck,shoulders and right hand to try to ease the pain in wrist. The one that went in my right hand felt like electric shocks that made my fingers tingle. He only left them in a short time. They were very painful. The ones in my neck and shoulders were left in longer. I asked him about the high pitched noise in my left ear and dizziness, he thinks it might be tinnitus and to mention it to my doctor. He took out the rest of the needles, then massaged my neck and shoulders. The pain shot down my right arm to my fingers the same pain I had got in my hand when the needles were in. He said my muscles were not as tight as last week. I left in quite a bit of pain, with strict orders to rest. The journey home was very painful and I did as I was told and had a lay down. Later that day the pain levels were higher than normal 6-7 spiking to 8 at times. My foot was about at its normal pain level.

24th

Bad day, head really pounding, slurred speech, double vision, sensitive in most places and very wobbly on my feet, not a good day. My right ear is swollen from the needles. Lindsay and the boys came round which did not really help but I love seeing them. Slept for just over an hour in bed.

26th

On the whole I feel a lot better but have a sick feeling in my stomach. A sudden sharp pain made me have a quick dash to the bathroom, where I renched for a few minutes but was not really sick. After about 20 minutes I felt a lot better, may be I have picked up a virus or something. Skin still feels itchy body temperature up and down.

28th

Good night sleep for a change I slept from 4am to 8am without waking up. My son Andrew and I went into town to do a bit of shopping. We manged to get every thing we wanted, it was a very enjoyable day, but as usual the RSD is not far away, pain and intense tiredness took over. On returning home I had a good lay down. On the whole a lot better day all round.

30th

Physio Wietse did usual needles they did not hurt as much this time. No massage today.



This last month has bean very much up and down. The RSD seems to have to go to the full pain level to almost as to remind me its still there, not that I need much reminding, to calm down again to a more sociable level. The weather I know can very much affect it. I am not really looking forward to the cold much. I used to love winter.

Well thats October gone - another year all most gone.
I hope you are all in good health and have not got too much pain.

Lots of love Gill.

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